if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Ladies real talk
I laughed harder than I should have, tbh
welp, too late on that one…
I’ve never seen a bigger cry for help in a man’s eyes.